Jocelyn's bed time routine

It's the same every night, so I am not entirely sure why I keep on expecting better results each night.

The bedtime starts some time between 9 and 10 p.m. most nights, depending on how the feeding times shook out during the day, what time I got dinner on the table and whether or not a bath was needed. But it always starts one of two ways. I start feeding a cranky Jocelyn, who gets a diaper change and swaddle between breasts, or we put a clean diaper and then swaddle a happy Jocelyn. On bath days she usually gets footie pajamas. She eats for a good, long time. She will usually spend 30 or so minutes on the first boob. She always dozes off. So I bring her up to my shoulder for a burp and begin the 30 minute upright holding.

After 5 minutes, she starts to root around, looking for more to eat. It is at this time that she gets a diaper change and swaddle (if necessary), and then she nurses the second boob for about 10 minutes and passes out. I let her sleep sideways across the Boppy for a while, and then I bring her up for a burp / 30 minute upright holding.

And, again, after 5 minutes she starts to wake. Except this time it is with painful tears. I mean PAINFUL! I begin the process of standing up so I can walk her around, and she always rips a HUGE fart in the process of me standing up. Every time. And the screaming tears continue. At this point, Hubby-poo comes in to releive me. He walks around with her for 10-30 minutes, humming and bouncing and singing nonsensical songs, until she falls asleep in his arms.

Then he puts her in the crib, goes to grab the monitor receiver, and we wait for her to wake up. It always takes less than 5 minutes, and usually less than 1. It starts with arms flailing, and then some whimpers start....

Somebody who doesn't know Jocelyn too well might say, 'Oh, these are some sleepy tears. They are totally normal. I will let this baby cry for a minute as she drifts off to sleep.' This person would be wrong to let this happen, as Jocelyn will not soothe herself. She needs to be picked back up and rocked some more. If she is not picked up, the whimpers will turn into blood-curdling wails. The resulting baby is inconsolable.

At this point, Hubby-poo takes another stab at it, as it is too soon for me to be able to try to nurse her to sleep, but she is tired enough that she wants to use my boob as a pacifier if I hold her. She soothes quickly and falls asleep in his arms again, this time in less time (5-20 minutes). Again, he puts her down in the crib, and we wait for her to wake up again. She may stay down longer this time, maybe up to 10 minutes (but sometimes as little as 2 or 3). Then the flailing starts. Then the whimpers start. And if we are not careful, this can also turn into a full-on blood-curdling wail. If that happens, it's even harder to soothe her than if it happened the first time.

With each of these comforts there are always more farts. This child hardly has any gas all day, and then at night it starts to bother her and come out with a force. It's bizarre.

This third time I go and get her. I walk / bounce / sing / hum / whatever for about 10 minutes. She gets quiet, and then will frantically start to root. While I don't let her get into a full wail, I let her fight with it for a little bit. I want her to tire out with a bit of activity. Plus it gives my body a bit more time to produce enough milk.

At this point I start to feed her, and she accepts food frantically. She sucks away like she hasn't eaten in days (when really it has been something over an hour since the end of her last meal), which lasts for 3-5 minutes. It turns into sleepy sucking, and I become the human pacifier as she drifts off to sleep. This last feeding can be short (10 minutes) or long (40 minutes). I try to let her go until she pops herself off, but sometimes she just doesn't. So if she gets past 20 minutes I try to nudge her away every few minutes. It takes some time (I don't want to force her), but she's usually asleep after this one.

I bring her up for a burp and some upright time (usually not 30 minutes, as she did not actually eat for very long in these cases). Sometimes she roots and begs for more food (at which point I give her the second boob, and repeat the previous paragraph). Usually she passes out in my arms. I hold her until I feel like she is really out, and then I put her down in the crib. She's down for the 'night' (usually for the next 5-6 hours).

If we deviate from the process, a third nursing session is typically required. This is not a good situation, as it adds time to the bedtime routine.

This process takes 3-4 hours. It takes longer when we start earlier, which tells me that she was never going to go to sleep before whatever time she planned to go to sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except that it means that there are times the process isn't over until 2 a.m. That's just too late. And it will REALLY be too late when I'm back at work.