21w3d - The Name Game

Hubby-poo and I started looking at names almost immediately after finding out if we were having a baby. We bought a book of 100,000 names and started diligently going through and eliminating the ones we don't like. Once we found out we were having a girl, we concentrated our focus on girls' names. Out of the hundreds of pages of names, we found about 30 that we like. Good work, we eliminated a lot. But that is still a long list of names.

Hubby-poo had a brilliant idea - we have written all of the names down on pieces of paper and put them into a bag. We draw one every few days and 'test drive' it. It's been fun, and a very useful exercise. First of all, the act of drawing a name can be polarizing. I find myself 'rooting' for certain names. Once came out that I just didn't want to test out. It was a good indication that I don't like it (and we thus eliminated it). There was one name that I thought was pretty low in my personal rankings that I actually wound up liking a whole lot after using it a bunch. There was one that I thought I really liked that I wound up being indifferent to after the test drive.

And, no, I'm not sharing any of the choices. We are keeping them all a secret. We won't settle on one until we meet her, and you will all find out shortly after that.

20w3d - Place for Acorn!

Yesterday was a big day. Yesterday we bought a crib! It was an unbelievable process! We had been crib shopping before. Twice. But it still took us all day on Saturday. We started at Babies R Us, then hit up Buy Buy Baby. In the process, there was a brand of cribs we found in our book that we wanted to check out. The only local dealer was a non-chain store called Lone Star Kids and Babies. Since I am such a fan of the non-chain thing, I wanted to check them out, too. In the end, we decided on one at BRU. It was a highly-rated crib with really good quality scores and a good price. As a bonus, it looks good and is the closest match to the dresser we already have.

Now to get a mattress. We'll probably get something organic, natural and all that good stuff. No off gassing for our little Acorn! And we need to read about bedding. There is some CUTE stuff out there. I wonder how much I want gender-specific bedding, or if I just want something basic and easy to clean. We shall see....

This Lone Star Kids and Babies store was funny. I know that most of my loyal readers are not local to the DFW area, so it's not like you'll ever shop there. But I still need to tell you about it. First of all, it felt like a furniture store. An upscale furniture store, at that. There weren't just cribs with bedding set up like in BRU, or even cribs set up with the matching furniture and bedding / matching decor like at BBB. No, this was like mini-nurseries with ALL of the coordinating pieces, including picture frames, paintings, lamps, etc. And the cribs were organized by brand, and designated by flags / signs hanging from the ceiling. We knew immediately that this place was a bit out of our price range. But, regardless, we wanted to see these Cadillac of cribs.

They were not where they were supposed to be based on the signage. So we asked. The lady we asked was just SO excited that we asked about them. I think she instantly viewed us as giant dollar signs. She then asked us how we heard about the brand, even though we had our Baby Bargains book in our hand and it's listed in there. So we showed her our book, and wondered why she asked us such a strange question. They were rearranging, so she brought us one set. Now, we only cared about the cribs, but it was very important to her to show us the dresser, armoire (like my baby is getting one of those - I just got one last January!) and other stuff. She told us where the other two sets were, and said we can look at the catalog to see the other models.

We didn't like the look of any of the sets at the store. One was very modern and weird, and they were all too furniture-y, if that makes sense. But we grabbed a catalog anyway. We *hated* the catalog. Some of the furniture was nice-looking. But the catalog was just so pretentious it hurt. It had rooms 'suitable for your young prince' and 'fit for you queen'. It was laughable.

Eventually another guy started talking to us. His first question to us was how we heard of the brand. Like it's some sort of secret? Come on, it's in the book! The original lady came back and went on about how they are the only dealer in the area because the company only deals with reputable stores who they think could do their product justice. Then the guy starts telling Hubby-poo all about how the furniture is made, from the dove-tailing to the differences between the ball joints and gliders and whatnot. He didn't look at me even once, even when I made comments. The sales lady chimed in with a 'can you tell you're talking to an engineer?' and he then mentioned that his background was in engineering. I am still kicking myself for not saying anything. I mean, holy sexism! Just because I'm a woman I don't care about how the furniture was made? I can't understand big words like 'dove tail'? I wanted to point out that I am the engineer in the couple, so maybe he should talk to me. I wanted to follow it up with the fact that I actually AM an engineer, and not a furniture sales-person. But I kept my mouth shut. I wish I hadn't.

Anyway, we won't be going back to that store, despite the good scores the book gave it. That level of pretentiousness just wasn't working for us. It's SO not our speed. Be helpful (like at BBB) or give us space to figure things out (like at BRU), but don't hang all over us and tell us how great your store is and ask us how we heard of such a fancy brand.

OOF, I got a bit off topic there. The point is, we have a crib for our girl! YAY!!

20w0d – Ohh, we’re half way the-ere

I am officially at the half-way point of pregnancy. In about 20 weeks, Hubby-poo and I will be parents. Ack! I would definitely say we’re livin’ on a prayer right now. We do believe we’ll make it (we swear), but we’re definitely anxious.

And, yes, I might have heard Livin’ on a Prayer on the radio this morning. I thought that was super-appropriate, actually (I might have squealed a little bit). And I might be a Bon Jovi fan. You can take the girl out of Jersey….

In any case, I think that list-mode is about to begin. Quite frankly, I’m surprised it has not started yet. I don’t even have a binder where I’m keeping everything yet. Yeah, I think that long-distance planning my wedding broke me, and I am no longer the project manager I used to be. But that’s all about to change. We know we’re having a girl, so it’s time to start to create lists, spreadsheets, calendars, etc. and making some plans on when to buy a crib, interview pediatricians, research car seats, register, tour day cares, select a hospital (we’re about 90% sure on this one, but have a tour of Plano Presbyterian next weekend, and I’m going to call them both and get an idea of cost differences given my insurance), paint the nursery, pick out girly stuff, etc., etc., etc.

I would like to share a few perspectives from the half-way point. Overall, it’s not so bad. I’m exhausted, which makes things hard. But that’s not super new considering I have been anemic on and off since a few months after the wedding. I’m not really showing much yet, which makes me a bit sad. I definitely have a bit of a belly, and maybe only two pairs of my regular pants fit me anymore, but people are still surprised when I tell them. So I guess people must jut think I’m getting fat. I have gained about 10 lbs, which is perfect since my OB wants me to gain between 15 and 25 (although, my PCP thinks gaining up to 30 or 35 is fine, and my hippy chiropractor sees no problem with gaining 40 or 50, so who knows?). But I never got real morning sickness (just intense queasiness, which wasn’t exactly comfortable). Of course, I think that most of the fun begins when I get bigger. I’m not looking forward to stretch marks, varicose veins, or hemorrhoids.

Hubby-poo is great. Sometimes I feel bad asking him to do things for me, but he always reminds me that I get to ask for whatever I want because I’m building a baby and that’s really important work. He took leadership of going through the name books. He’s quite a bit behind me on his reading and research, but he’s generally not that proactive (or at least not as proactive as I am) about those things anyway. He’s super-excited to have a baby (he kind of wants to have her here now, which is really cute), he’s always open to talking about baby stuff (we read about her every night from our day-by-day book), and he is a really good sport about going to the baby stores with the Baby Bargains books and crossing things out and recording the scores and all that jazz. He also thinks about things and feels stress about them and wants to find the best way to do things. The best part is that he is completely flexible about eating around my aversions and desires (I don’t want to call them cravings, because they are no more extreme than they always were). So if I want to go out for a burger or burrito, he’s up for it, regardless of how cold it is outside. And he’s very understanding of my exhaustion, so he isn’t complaining that the chores I typically do aren’t always getting done (and sometimes, but not always, he picks up some of the slack in those parts of the house). What can I say? We both know we’ve got each other, and that’s a lot.

19w6d - Pumping Iron

Since tone cannot be conveyed in text, I want to point out that I say the following statement with sarcasm, and that it comes from a place of love: This little parasite is trying to kill me!

Okay, it’s a gross exaggeration. But Acorn has made me (among other things) anemic. Part of the problem is that I have a history of iron trouble (some of you may remember the iron supplement woes of my past). Despite the fact that my non-pregnant self eats more red meat than she should, I still had nearly undetectable levels of iron. My doctor’s solution (and the solution of doctors everywhere, I’m sure) was to give me iron supplements. And they had ALL kinds of rules – don’t take with dairy or caffeine, do not take within a certain amount of time of eating, take with lots of water, don’t take with citrus (or, take with citrus, depending on who you talked to), don’t get them wet, don’t feed them after midnight, etc. Obviously my body has trouble absorbing iron properly. I always meant to try to figure out the problem there, but I never did get around to it.

Anyway, now I’m nourishing for two. And I take my prenatal vitamins (before somebody else recommends taking them, as though I didn’t know or something – I’m pregnant, not stupid). In fact, I take a whole series of pills, each with a different functionality, instead of one mega-pill. This allows for more customization. And I have thus doubled up on my iron (each pill contains 60% recommended for the pregnant population, so I am ingesting 120%). Still, though, I am not sure it’s enough. I feel this way not because I have had my blood retested, but because I still feel anemic. I explain this below.

After work yesterday I meandered down to the gym, something I try to do at least 3 or 4 workdays (I also try to exercise on the weekend, but not at the work gym, because that would be silly). I am no stranger to the gym, I have been an avid exerciser since I got fat in the early part of college and decided I wanted to get healthy (so since I was about 19, give or take… 12 years). Pregnancy has brought its own set of challenges to regular exercise – modified positions, lower anaerobic threshold, etc. Well, yesterday, it was really interesting. I did a moderate 30 minutes on the elliptical. I did a bit of zone work, spending time in zones 2 and 3 in a 2:1 ratio. I did get past my AT a few times, but only because it’s really, really low (like 149 bpm), but I thought I was okay.

In any case, I felt fine during the workout. But once I stepped off things changed. I got really, really lightheaded. Granted, I did not cool down completely on the machine, but I can’t cool down all the way on that machine. I got down to about 120 BPM before stepping off. Regardless, I continued to walk around until my heart rate dropped down to under 100 BPM, and I refilled my water bottle and continued to drink up. A few people stopped me to ask if I was okay – evidently I got really, really pale. I had planned to regain my composure and do some lifting, but once strangers started commenting on my appearance I decided that maybe it was time to call it quits. A bit of strength training is not worth passing out over.

I got home and made Hubby-poo take me out for a hamburger. And I put a scoop of peanut butter into my oatmeal this morning. I’m going to make a distinct effort to try to get more iron into my diet (especially given that, other than hamburgers and the occasional ground beef burrito, Acorn seems to HATE red meat). Not exercising is not a good option for so many reasons.

Of course, I’m sure that Acorn is as nourished as she needs to be. She’s a bit big for her gestational age (only by about a week), and I attribute that to the fact that I eat such nutrient-dense foods and really give her lots of nourishment. But I also think that the little brat takes more than her share and depletes my stores too far. I love her with all my heart, but kiddo needs to stop taking all of my energy. I almost told Hubby-poo that I can’t wait until she is born, that way I can stop being so tired all the time. But I caught myself, realizing how ridiculous that is. I suspect that there will be NO sleeping for many, many weeks, and minimal sleeping for many, many months (and the first person who says ‘just you wait’ regarding lack of sleep and tiredness is going on my shit-list – that ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about’ attitude annoys the crap out of me – just sayin’).

19w0d - Gender Roles

Around Christmas time, a friend of mine observed that in the toy catalogs there advertisements for toy irons and ironing boards. Demonstrating those toys were little girls. Boys played with other toys. She was bothered by this, because in her mind both of her children (her son and her daughter) should learn how to do laundry. I can't say I disagree.

I do think that this will be another advantage of going back to work. Of course, when there is a stay-at-home parent, that parent does the lion's share of the house work. That parent should - that parent is home. That parent should of course do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. And, let's face it, that parent is usually (but not always) a woman. But I don't plan to be a stay-at-home mom. And, while I gave him the choice, Hubby-poo does not plan to be a stay-at-home dad. So our children will not have a parent who does most of the housework. Our daughter will see that Mommies and Daddies both wash dishes, do laundry and clean the bathtub. She may have a few gender misconceptions, given that Hubby-poo and I do have a few things that we typically do. She will probably learn that Mommies do most of the cooking, but Daddies are good at making food, too. She will probably also learn that Daddies scrub toilets, vacuum the rugs and take out garbage. She will probably learn that Mommies and Daddies work together to fix things, unless it's plumbing, then Mommies fix it while Daddies watch in awe. She will probably also learn that Mommies only carry heavy things when Daddies aren't around. By the time she gets to high school, she will probably get the impression that Mommies are better at math and science, and that Daddies are more fun to discuss books and movies with. Oh, and she will have no idea what ironing even is, and may or may not understand about mopping.

My point is that my daughter (and subsequent child) will learn that parents are partners. She will learn that when major decisions are to be made, both parents discuss it until they reach a decision. There is no one 'boss', but that Mommies and Daddies are equally in charge. And she will learn that Mommies and Daddies take care of each other and help each other out, as much as they take care of little Acorns.

Not that we are unique among our contemporaries. This came up for a variety of reasons. The first one was that I stayed home sick, and became VERY aware that my house is a MESS. But after doing a few chores remembered why I could never be a housewife (I wouldn't be good at it, anyway). Also, I talked to my mom, and she made a comment about how my bathroom remodel would probably be easier if I didn't give Hubby-poo a vote in the selections (I don't think that's really true, since I'm not very decisive). Both of those things made me think about that partnership, how lucky I am, and how lucky Acorn will be to know that she only has to learn how to do basic housework for maintenance, but not as a career.

18w4d - Pictures!

Okay, I just broke down and uploaded the baby pictures to my work computer. Mostly because our home computer is Hubby-poo's computer and it's up to him to call the company and get things worked out. But, without further ado, here are the new pictures:

Here is the "money shot", so to speak. Like I said, she was not cooperating. think that the view is from the front, and those are her legs and the front of her torso in the picture. But those 3 little lines are the girl parts. Online they call it a 'cheeseburger', which means that a dude came up with that name. But, regardless, that's my girl!

She didn't want to cooperate for pictures this time. So there aren't very many good ones. I have lots of neat ones with measurements, and colored ones of her umbilical cord (where you could see the blood flowing in and out), but she was a bit camera shy.

This is my favorite picture. She is sucking her thumb, which is pretty standard baby activity. But look closely - she has her pinky out! Seriously, how cute is that? Not only does she keep her legs closed to keep her privates private, she also sucks her thumb with her pinky out. I love it! I don't know where she gets such class.

Those are the only ones I'm going to share this time. Like I said, she was being a bit camera shy on Friday. Definitely gets that from her dad, because clearly it does NOT come from me. I'm a ham for the camera :-P.

18w4d - Baby Girl!

Most of you have probably read on Facebook (or got a personal phone call / text message from either me or Hubby-poo), but we are having a girl! So there is no need for me to change the color scheme of this blog. Huzzah!

It’s funny, because when I first realized I was pregnant (even before I tested), I just *knew* she was a girl. I don’t know why, but I did. Then after a few weeks all the dreams started. And in all of my dreams Acorn was a boy. So I figured that my initial instinct was wrong, and I revised my guess to boy. Hubby-poo also had the same instinct. He was convinced it was a boy, even though he was really hoping for a girl. About 2 weeks or so before we had the ultrasound, I got the sneaky feeling that Acorn was a girl. Then the dreams started back up again, and she was a girl every time. At that point I gave up – I blamed the pregnancy hormones for doing crazy things, and wrote off all of the feelings as weird hormone spikes. I decided that I didn’t know what my baby was, and knew I would be happy with either result so it really didn’t matter.

Before the ultrasound, the technician asked us what we though. Hubby-poo officially guessed boy. I officially guessed girl, with the caveat that it was only to be opposite of him. Well, after some coaxing and coercing (little brat wouldn’t open her legs) the technician found the three little lines which mean GIRL! We asked her how sure she was, and she said that it was definitely a girl.

Like I said, she did NOT want to cooperate. She’s a classy little lady who wanted to keep her private parts, well, private. Let’s hope she maintains that level of shyness through her teenage years! She must get that characteristic from Mike’s side, because clearly her mom isn’t that classy ;-). Of course, she was also sleeping when we were trying to take a look at her (this is a trait she gets from both parents, we are both excellent sleepers). So that might have been part of the problem. As a result of the ‘just waking up’, she did not want to cooperate for good pictures. We did get a few, one of which I just love. She is sucking her thumb with her pinky up! Seriously, how cute is that? My proper little lady!

I will get to posting pictures later on or tomorrow. Our home computer is on the fritz, so we’re using work computers for our home computing. We don’t really want to store too many personal files on the work computer. But this might need to be an exception.

17w6d - Hodgepodge of concerns

I have a bunch of stuff on my mind regarding pregnancy, parenthood, etc. I’m going to start dumping it all here. As anybody who knows me knows, I am an avid reader / researcher (one might say I can become a tad obsessive). Thus I have been reading everything on the topic of parenthood that I can. When I was at the dentist on Monday I grabbed a Parents magazine from the rack while I waited. I read the beginning of an article on SIDS. Sadly, I couldn’t finish it. But it scared the bejesus out of me. Yes, I know that you need to sleep a baby on its back. But I also know that we will be waking up in the middle of the night for feedings. What if we do it wrong just one time? In the story in the article, they shared an anecdote of a dad who gave his child his midnight feeding. Instead of putting him back into the bassinet, dad fell asleep on the couch while snuggling baby. When baby didn’t wake up for his 4:00 feeding, the mom woke up in a panic. At that point, dad woke up to find a dead baby in his arms.

I nearly started crying my eyes out. Just recounting this story, which is about people I never met and whose names I don’t even know, makes me want to cry.

This morning Hubby-poo happened to flip the TV on and heard Matt Lauer talk about SIDS and the study that just came out which links serotonin levels in the brain to incidents of SIDS. Evidently, lower serotonin levels result in the brain result in fewer neurological pathways, so the brain does not connect ‘I am suffocating’ to ‘I need to wake up’ and the baby dies. Of course, all of the studies have been post mortem, so there is no knowledge of action that can be taken. They can’t even test for it at this time. So, while helpful in the long term, this does not help me right now.

Another magazine I read (which came from the hospital and was, unfortunately, mostly filled with advertisements) had an article about the warning signs of autism and other conditions. Mostly it was an advertisement for a treatment center in Texas. But this also scared me. What if we do have a child with special needs? Hubby-poo and I both have relatives with varying levels of special needs. It’s a LOT of work. Obviously we would love our child, and do the best we could to ensure that our child had the best opportunities possible. But we really want a normal, healthy baby.

On a side note, we’re not doing the quad screen test. We don’t want to know the likeliness that our kid will have Down ’s syndrome or some other chromosomal abnormality. Why know? We are at the stage in our lives where it wouldn’t change anything – it’s not as though I would terminate this pregnancy at 20+weeks because it will be harder than we want. We will cross our fingers that we have a healthy baby. But if we don’t, we will cross that bridge when we get to it. It will be whatever it is, so why get information that will stress us out early and make me not enjoy this pregnancy.

Which brings me to vaccinations. At this time, none of the studies implicate vaccinations as being the cause of autism. But it’s fairly common (at least common enough) and it is a commonly held belief that vaccinations play a part. Now, before I start a debate, I do plan to vaccinate my children. This is not the issue (and this is not up for debate). But my issue is that I wish I understood why sometimes it works great, and other times, well, not so much. I recently read an article that vaccinations are fine, but the AAP guidelines are what need to be revised. I think there could be some merit there. They developed their guidelines without controlled studies. They do all this vaccine combination, and there aren’t any protocols which prevent vaccination when there is the presence of an infection. I may want to take more of a ‘one at a time’ approach. The same article also said that part of the problem is that doctors throw antibiotics and Tylenol at problems that those things don’t treat, just to make parents feel better that they are doing something. I don’t want to do that. Antibiotics (that I grant you, I needed) changed my health and immune system 2.5 years ago and it still hasn’t recovered. I probably wouldn’t have needed such strong ones if I hadn’t had so many unnecessary courses of them in the past.

Obviously I am not an expert here, but I have looked into some of the alternative path stuff. Maybe that’s the way to go. I don’t know. I wish I knew. I need to talk to a doctor who is not in bed with the AAP, because I need another opinion. Besides, the last time I mentioned to an AAP doctor that I probably wouldn’t do the hepatitis B vaccine right away, but would wait a few days (per AAP alternative guidelines, not even holistic hippy guidelines), she rolled her eyes at me and basically called me a moron. This, of course, was a friend who happens to be a doctor, and not a doctor who I could fire (was being an operative term, I may not ever speak to this person again because this annoyed me SO much).

Anyway, I guess I need to start researching pediatricians who support alternative path and who are not super gung-ho on prescribing antibiotics and throwing drugs at every problem even when they won’t help.

I have also been reading a lot about nursing. Of course, I plan to nurse. My plan right now is to nurse exclusively for 6 months, and continue to nurse until Acorn is 2 years old while introducing a variety of foods (still in flux, but that’s where my head is right now… and, again, once I have a plan it’s not up for debate). But you read so much stuff about HOW critical it is, and basically how you are evil Evil EVIL if you don’t do it. Well, what if I can’t? What if my milk production is low? What if it causes me too much pain? What if I can feed Acorn just fine, but I can’t produce enough milk to then pump for his/her feedings when I’m not around (sidebar – I plan to go back to work, and this is also not up for debate)? What if I get really, really sick during childbirth and have to take medication that my life depends on, but which is not safe for babies? What if I die during childbirth or sometime shortly after, and Mike has to feed the child? In any and all of these situations, formula is there as a backup. And it has to be okay to use. I hate all this stuff I read that vilifies formula and those who use it. Especially now that it is formulated with DHA and other stuff babies need (probably more nutrients than most women consume in their regular diets, to be honest).

17w4d - Baylor Frisco

Tonight, Hubby-poo and I toured Baylor Frisco hospital. Not that I have a point of reference, but I thought it was really, really nice. It's smaller than I imagined it to be, but I don't know what's 'normal'.

The first striking thing is that there were no to almost no babies in the nursery. Why? Because they were all in the post-partum rooms with their mommies and daddies. You get a crib in there, so the baby can stay with you. They bathe the baby, examine the baby and do basically everything with the baby in the room with you. The only stuff they do outside of the room is lab work and circumcision and stuff like that.

Anyway, the Labor and Delivery rooms are nice. Every room is private (no semi-private nonsense). There is a recliner for dad to sit, a flat screen TV, wireless internet, etc. Dad gets three meals a day (mom gets ice chips). There is lots of space, so if I want to bring in a birthing ball or whatever, I totally can. There is a 1-to-1 delivery nurse to patient ratio (of course, there are only 12 delivery rooms, so it's not like they have a TON of delivery nurses running around). Like I said, everything the baby needs is in the room. So I can see it get its first exam, first bath, etc. And I can nurse right away.

The post-partum room is also pretty sweet. Again, there is a pull-out bed for dad to sleep in. There is a glider/rocker for nursing, a crib for the baby, a flat-screen TV with a 'webcam' that I can activate if I want people to be able to see me in there (okay, well, it's active for the nurses to check if I'm sleeping before they come in the room, but I can activate it so people can log in and check on what I'm doing). There is a chat feature, so we can type-chat and stuff. I don't see myself activating that feature, but you never know.

They do have a NICU on-site, but it's level 3A. There are other hospitals closer with higher levels of NICU, one of which my doctor does deliver at (Plano Presby). We do plan to visit it (we have a scheduled tour, and a friend who is delivering there any day now). But my understanding (Debbie, correct me if I'm wrong)is that you don't get to have your baby with you in the room. The other thing I don't like about it immediately is that I couldn't call the hospital directly to set up the tour, I had to call the main Texas Health number.

In any case, I feel good about it. Obviously I am still going to check out the other place before making a final decision (this is me, after all... I'm gonna do my research).

On an unrelated note, I do need to do more natural childbirth research. One of the ladies in the room talked about bringing in a massage therapist (it was a specific kind... neuro-muscular maybe?) to help with pain management. I also need to figure out how much it means for me to do things naturally. On one hand, I'd really like to do things naturally. On the other hand, I am scared to death of the birth process. So we'll see what happens. I have told the OB that I want to do natural childbirth until I decide I don't want to anymore. She is supportive of that plan.