19w0d - Gender Roles

Around Christmas time, a friend of mine observed that in the toy catalogs there advertisements for toy irons and ironing boards. Demonstrating those toys were little girls. Boys played with other toys. She was bothered by this, because in her mind both of her children (her son and her daughter) should learn how to do laundry. I can't say I disagree.

I do think that this will be another advantage of going back to work. Of course, when there is a stay-at-home parent, that parent does the lion's share of the house work. That parent should - that parent is home. That parent should of course do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. And, let's face it, that parent is usually (but not always) a woman. But I don't plan to be a stay-at-home mom. And, while I gave him the choice, Hubby-poo does not plan to be a stay-at-home dad. So our children will not have a parent who does most of the housework. Our daughter will see that Mommies and Daddies both wash dishes, do laundry and clean the bathtub. She may have a few gender misconceptions, given that Hubby-poo and I do have a few things that we typically do. She will probably learn that Mommies do most of the cooking, but Daddies are good at making food, too. She will probably also learn that Daddies scrub toilets, vacuum the rugs and take out garbage. She will probably learn that Mommies and Daddies work together to fix things, unless it's plumbing, then Mommies fix it while Daddies watch in awe. She will probably also learn that Mommies only carry heavy things when Daddies aren't around. By the time she gets to high school, she will probably get the impression that Mommies are better at math and science, and that Daddies are more fun to discuss books and movies with. Oh, and she will have no idea what ironing even is, and may or may not understand about mopping.

My point is that my daughter (and subsequent child) will learn that parents are partners. She will learn that when major decisions are to be made, both parents discuss it until they reach a decision. There is no one 'boss', but that Mommies and Daddies are equally in charge. And she will learn that Mommies and Daddies take care of each other and help each other out, as much as they take care of little Acorns.

Not that we are unique among our contemporaries. This came up for a variety of reasons. The first one was that I stayed home sick, and became VERY aware that my house is a MESS. But after doing a few chores remembered why I could never be a housewife (I wouldn't be good at it, anyway). Also, I talked to my mom, and she made a comment about how my bathroom remodel would probably be easier if I didn't give Hubby-poo a vote in the selections (I don't think that's really true, since I'm not very decisive). Both of those things made me think about that partnership, how lucky I am, and how lucky Acorn will be to know that she only has to learn how to do basic housework for maintenance, but not as a career.