Last month I told you about the book I bought to potty train Jocelyn - Diaper Free by Age 3. I should have read *about* the book before buying it. I don't think that the methods are going to work for her. They say to sit on the potty at regular intervals until they start to use it, and also to put them on the potty during a bowel movement (when you hear the grunting). The scheduled potty break technique is already employed at daycare, and to no avail. So I don't see it working at home. And we always ask her if she wants to use the potty when we catch her pooping. The answer is always no - that she wants to poop in her pull up.
But we are trying it. And since this book recommends starting between 6 and 9 months, we are trying with Donovan as well. So right now we are sitting on the potty before and after bath. Donovan won't sit long. Jocelyn sits there fine, but doesn't go.
Tonight, however, Mike took pity on her. As he got her out of the bath, she gave him sad eyes and said, "I don't wanna sit on the potty, Daddy." So he told her that she didn't have to. He put a diaper on her, and before he could finish washing his hands, she declared, "I peed!" He was aggravated, to say the least. No more falling for that trick anymore.
This book also recommends against incentives - saying that other life skills are not incentivized by anything but the skill itself, so why should the potty be different? So we'll see.
The thing that I don't trust is that it is the author's contention that children do not revert when a new sibling comes along. Yes, she is a well-researched person on the topic, and also a pediatrician, but I don't buy that. Reverting is a thing... it's documented all over the place. So how could it not be real in her eyes. Let's not forget - Jocelyn was well on her way to being potty trained before her second birthday. And then she moved to the toddler room, and it all stopped. Maybe that was the transition that broke it, and not baby brother. I don't know. She's been in the toddler room since August, though... so if that was it, then I don't know what to do about it. Surely, she is used to it by now.
Beyond the potty time blues, though, Jocelyn continues to crack me up. We had this conversation prior to taking a bath... I was about to take off her diaper, and it looked bulky in back:
Me: Jocelyn, do you have poop in your diaper?
Jocelyn (sticking her hands in her diaper): Nope. Just a butt!
Then there was this one:
Jocelyn: do we have any pineapple?
Me: yes
J: I want blueberries!
She cracks me up.
I am concerned about the whole potty thing, though. I am thinking that maybe I will buy her some big kid undies and go from there. We may have a few days of bags of wet clothes. But it might be the immersion she needs. Other parents - what did you do? I'm looking for whatever I can find here!!!
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2 comments:
We weren't looking to potty train, but we had bought some underwear. One day, Graham just up and decided he wanted to wear it to school. Of course, he wet himself almost instantly. The next day, same thing - wanted to wear underwear. We let him, he messed himself. That weekend we asked if he wanted to wear underwear or diapers, he chose undies, so I told him that he was going to have to work to learn to see what was involved with it. I wrote about the experience on my blog. He was hard-heatedly determined to wear that stupid underwear. Frankly, I wasn't ready to potty train, would've been so happy for him to be in diapers. But in the end I think that helped his mindset. Graham is OH so stubborn and a control-freak. He was the one driving the train at that point and that's exactly what got him there. Poop took another couple of months longer before it clicked. We totally incentivized. Used M&M's for pee and dollar store toys that he picked out for poop. Then we dropped the treats when he was capable of doing it on his own and clearly showed that having accidents really bothered him. He then has an entirely different incentive at that point: staying clean. And that, my friend, is when you can finally call them trained. It takes a while though. Sounds like J sort of has you pegged as wanting her to do this and is enjoying getting your goat by refusing. Not that this is a helpful statement, but maybe reverse psychology would help? Put away the potty and tell her she's not ready to use it. That she needs to stay in diapers for awhile until she's a big girl. Same for panties. ? I'm no expert. ;)
The reverse psychology is a good one... we just sort of ignored the potty at home for a while, hoping that our lack of interest would drive hers. Instead, she has gone along with it.
I wouldn't be so frustrated it, but she CAN do it. She did it for like a month. Not 100%, mind you. But she would ask to use the potty, and use it. For pee and poop. Then she stopped.
They have potty time and do a potty line at daycare. I am starting to think that is the problem. Normally she is good about the whole daycare peer pressure thing. But with that one, not so much. She talks about all the kids in her class who wear underwear. We ask her if she wants it, and she says that she likes diapers and wants to be a baby forever.
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