The airplane poop story

Since I teased Facebook with this story, I thought it best to share it.

First of all, Jocelyn does not travel well. Sure, she is well behaved. But her inexperienced immune system leaves her susceptible to all sorts of ailments. Put her on a germy airplane, in a germy hotel room, and near a bunch of new people, and her poor little system just can't take it.

Our last morning at our hotel poor Jocelyn had an explosive poopy diaper. I mean, I got one quick whiff before I looked down to see it leaking out of both sides of her pajamas. Since I knew we had to fly, this was a good thing that this happened so early in the day - it gave me the opportunity to know we needed to pack several extra outfits into the carry on.

Fast forward to the car ride, when within 10 miles of the airport the sounds started. Parents know what the sounds are. We knew more was on the way. Sure enough, another outfit was ruined. We pulled over, changed the diaper and outfit and went on our merry way.

Jocelyn was absolutely awesome at the airport. She ate some food, played in the waiting area, giggled a whole bunch and was generally a great baby. We got on the plane, she took her bottle and passed out in Mike's arms for some two hours. When she shifted from his lap to his shoulder, he noticed a wet spot on his leg. Jocelyn leaked pee out of her diaper. This is not a big deal, of course. As a parent sometimes you get baby pee on you. Inconvenient to be stuck on an airplane with no change of clothes, but whatever. When she woke up from her nap, Mike had to use the restroom himself, so I took the damp baby. After a few minutes we started to land so I offered Jocelyn a bottle. During the bottle Jocelyn farted audibly - impressive for a tiny baby on a landing plane (it's loud on there!). And it was stinky, too.

At that point Jocelyn had enough bottle, and reached back to daddy, and a cloud of stink follows her movement. Also, as she gets up, I realize that my lap is SOAKED. I mean drenched, both sides of my lap, wet stains, soaked. So Mike is holding her upright, not letting her sit back in his lap, and we tried to figure out if we should change her and how. We knew there had to be poop in there, because it still stunk. But we were landing and couldn't get up.

Well, as Mike moved Jocelyn a little bit, something fell out of her (very loose, kind of like bell bottoms) pant leg. Yup, it was poop! A piece fell on the floor, a piece fell onto Mike's lap, and we cracked up! I mean, what else can you do in such a situation? We obviously had to change her, but how? We couldn't get to the bathroom where the changing station is. We were landing. And besides, we might leave a breadcrumb trail of poop! So we had to change her right there in the seat!

It took three little trash baggies (one for the soiled pants, shirt was fine), one for the diaper and a third for all of the wipes. Because we didn't just have to wipe her clean, but we also had to clean the floor and Mike's pants. Luckily we were in the three-across seats and Nancy was sitting with us, because we needed the space and we needed to know our neighbor.

We cracked up the whole time. It was SO AWFUL, it was hilarious! This was, by far, the worst poop experience to date. And let's not forget that she pooped on me while nursing once and has also pooped in the tub!

The whole rest of the evening and day today were very poop-filled as well. Poor baby! She has a red tushie, and I am giving grandma strict orders for no dairy and lots of rice tomorrow (I should have done that for today, but I didn't know it would continue with such a vengeance). But at least after the whole poopy incident she (and Nancy and I) got to be on TV! So that was pretty cool :-).